Posts Tagged ‘People relationships

08
Jan

A dedication

By Eleen Por 2 Comments
Categories: People and Rant
Tags:

Life can be cruel.

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She has always held out on her own. Unlike her many other friends who’d jump into relationships just to be in relationships, she has held her head up high and politely declined all the various interests. Knowing what she wants but most importantly, always knowing what she does NOT want.

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Then she met him.

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And everything clicked into place. Like a werewolf imprinting on its mate, she felt connected to him by a million invisible strings. They knew each other’s thoughts even before they were articulated. The way her hands curled around his arms seems like the most natural thing in the world. And the way he gently nudge her to safety when a vehicle gets too near makes her heart flutter.

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Everyone in the world - friends, family and even strangers - look at them as one entity. They were inseparable. They give the term ‘beautiful couple’ a whole new meaning. To friends, their one-ness can get so annoying sometimes and only those extremely close to them will refrain from throwing “Get a room you two!” at them.

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‘Cos they know.

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Those close friends know that what we see isn’t always what it is. That perception can really fool us all. That as ‘together’ as they may seem, they are actually as far apart as 2 human beings can ever be.

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“You know I have strong feelings for you. Stronger than I’ve ever dreamt possible for a woman. But you need to also know that what we share between us will never be more than what we have today. Not now, nor in the future. I am the way I am and I hope that you will not love me any less for that. As and when we move on to other people in our lives, I want to hold on to US. I know it sounds crazy and childish - but I want you in my life…no, I NEED you in my life.”

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His words seared through her and she winced inwardly. But she knows she needs to be strong. To stay strong for her own sanity. And for his too.

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“It’s OK. What mattters most is how much we care and we will always be there for each other no matter what. Yes?”

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He could only nod, knowing that if he tried to speak…his voice will betray the frustration he’s trying *very* hard to shield from her. He wanted to shout at the world. To hurl obscenities about how unfair Life is. Oh! How he wanted to love her the way he knows she wants him to. And God knows how badly he wants that too. But…..we only know too well that Life is never fair. He didn’t ask to be who he is. it’s just the way our tapestry of life is woven.

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Yes, Life can be really cruel sometimes.

28
Oct

Subconscious Mind - A Deadly Weapon

By Eleen Por 4 Comments
Categories: Food for Thought, Life & Love and People
Tags: , , , ,

A recent conversation I had with a certain someone threw some new and totally different light to a topic that’s been boggling my mind for awhile. It made both of us think about our subconscious mind. To quote him : “Every action has an equal or opposite reaction”

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I mean, our subconscious mind can make us do things without us realising that we’re actually doing them. And it works both ways - it can work FOR or AGAINST us. Depending on how much positivity or negativity one is surrounded with. Scary, ain’t it?

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It answers alot of questions in my head but it also scares the shits outta me. I mean, I wouldn’t want to subconsciously hurt someone because I’ve been hurt by others in past experiences. It would be so blardy unfair to that someone. Then again, to quote one of Sweetheart’s fav lines - “Who says Life is ever fair?”

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So really….if hurting her would help him get over the hurt he endured years ago, I guess that’s his way of fighting his past demons then. Unfair? Yes. Real? Also yes. Sad? So yes.

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But still….to dump the onus of forgiving in her court so that he can then open up his heart and perform his own forgiving act to kill some 9-year old demons? Damn. That’s cruel. But then again, depending on how you look at it. It’s also pretty ingenious. Heh…

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Thinking about it now, I guess that explains why I do not hate a single soul in my entire life. Dislike, yes. Hate, no. I just don’t have the emotional energy to cater to such a big ask.

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Think about it : It actually takes ALOT to truly HATE someone (the worst kind of it all is the kind when you love AND hate that same someone). It festers in your heart like a disease. You think you moved on with life but hey, if you have not truly forgiven and stopped hating, you’re actually still stuck in that emotional space. It’s just pushed to a dark corner of your heart but it’s still there. And will always be there until you stop hating and let it go through the act of forgiving.

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Thanks dear….for our late-night conversations. They don’t come by often coz we are both so busy trekking water furiously to stay above the surface which zaps up our energy and time. So whatever time we get to connect is really appreciated. Truly and deeply precious.

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So folks, think about it for awhile. Of the strength of our subconscious mind and what it’s capable of. Very easily, in fact, too easily…it can take control of how we live Life. We must stay mentally and emotionally strong to BE in charge. To not allow it to hurt not just ourselves but also our loved ones. We must, ya? We must! We must!