There’s a spring in his steps as we walk hand-in-hand,
There’s a sparkle in his eyes when he glances my way,
There’s a gentleness in the way his hand grasps mine,
There’s a haughty ring in his voice when he throws me a tease,
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And most of all…
There’s a singing in my heart knowing that I am his as he is mine.
Recently, a friend got attached and when I asked her why she decided on that particular dude after she has rejected so many who had been standing in line and working hard at winning her heart, her answer shocked me to silence.
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“Because he bought me the latest ***insert the brand name of a super expensive watch*** model which I’ve been eyeing for awhile now”
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Huh??!!? For a few seconds there, I could say nothing but gape at her in disbelief. Only to be shocked a 2nd time when another galfren said “It’s OK if you don’t really feel that hot about him now but over time, I’m sure you will grow to love him”
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What?!?! When did I go to sleep and wake up to a whole new, materialistic world???? I was *so* shocked that I had to excuse myself from those women and took some time to regain my composure.
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That got me thinking. How many percent of women in this world today think like them and how many of the rest are aghast at those tots like me? And it made me think about past conversations I’ve had with other galfrens which I’ve not given 2 hoots about, mainly because i don’t agree with them. I guess it wasn’t because the world changed when I blinked but more a case of denial on my part.
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Some of the past comments from women all around. Some I heard first-hand. Some were passed around as ‘useful tips’.
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The list actually goes on for a few pages but I think you get the idea. Some are so ridiculous (IMHO lah) that I LOL-ed so hard and had me going “Are you kidding me?!?!?” a couple of times just to make sure I heard them right.
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So, it all boils down to : To each her own.
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And I guess I will always be the ’stupid woman’ to the other ladies who get to show off their branded watches, handbags and vacation pictures while I will most probably be watching pirated DVDs at home with my man.
Considering the enormity of my news, I was careful not to shock my friends when sharing it with them. Here’s how *every single* one of them responded.
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Me : Hey, I’ve got some news to share with ya. Quite a shocker actually.
Fren : Really??? Watisit???
Me : Make sure you are sitting down and do not have any food/drink in your mouth. Dun want you to fall or choke on your food/drink. Heh…
Fren : Wait…dun tell me. Lemme guess…YOU AND LEONG/AARON ARE GETTING MARRIED?!?!?!?!? CONGRATS!!!!!
Me : Huh??? No no no no no no no …..
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So folks, for the record :
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Really. Let’s think Out of the Box for a moment. Everything we do in Life, we do it for a purpose. We work for money. We destress to keep sane. We eat to be happy (well, for me anyways. Hehe). We drink so some folks appear ‘acceptable’. And, we get married to….?
And my (all rights reserved) answer to all of the above - BULLSHIT.
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So far, no one is able to give me ONE good reason to have a different opinion. Yes, that’s a DARE to ya, you-know-who…
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The only one in the list that is remotely acceptable is the first one (Let’s face it, we live in Asia. Malaysia some more. ‘Nuff said.) and guess what, there ain’t any maternal instinct knocking on my door (now or ever? Maybe. Dunno. Dun care atm) and all the other reasons are total CRAP. Definitely dun need to sign any papers to get all of them. In fact, I *already* have all of them. Those that I want and need anyways. 
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So for us, it’s really very simple. As long as we are HAPPY together, as long as our love for each other is there to make us wanna BE together, we WILL stay together. No piece of paper is gonna change that. Ever.
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Oh, and my news - is still BIG.
If you don’t already know, call or ping me someway somehow. I promise I will leave no details out.
“I read this today and thought of you, Eleen” - he said to me.
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Great excerpt from Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s best-loved book ”Gift From The Sea” :
“When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way from moment to moment. It’s even a lie to pretend to.
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And yet this is exactly what most of us demand.
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We have so little faith on the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity … in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.
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The only security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping even.
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Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what might be in dread or anticipation but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.
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For relationships, too, must be like islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, continually visited and abandoned by the tides.”
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So beautiful. :`)
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Thanks for sharing … and thanks for looking out for my heart. I am truly blessed.
A recent conversation I had with a certain someone threw some new and totally different light to a topic that’s been boggling my mind for awhile. It made both of us think about our subconscious mind. To quote him : “Every action has an equal or opposite reaction”
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I mean, our subconscious mind can make us do things without us realising that we’re actually doing them. And it works both ways - it can work FOR or AGAINST us. Depending on how much positivity or negativity one is surrounded with. Scary, ain’t it?
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It answers alot of questions in my head but it also scares the shits outta me. I mean, I wouldn’t want to subconsciously hurt someone because I’ve been hurt by others in past experiences. It would be so blardy unfair to that someone. Then again, to quote one of Sweetheart’s fav lines - “Who says Life is ever fair?”
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So really….if hurting her would help him get over the hurt he endured years ago, I guess that’s his way of fighting his past demons then. Unfair? Yes. Real? Also yes. Sad? So yes.
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But still….to dump the onus of forgiving in her court so that he can then open up his heart and perform his own forgiving act to kill some 9-year old demons? Damn. That’s cruel. But then again, depending on how you look at it. It’s also pretty ingenious. Heh…
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Thinking about it now, I guess that explains why I do not hate a single soul in my entire life. Dislike, yes. Hate, no. I just don’t have the emotional energy to cater to such a big ask.
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Think about it : It actually takes ALOT to truly HATE someone (the worst kind of it all is the kind when you love AND hate that same someone). It festers in your heart like a disease. You think you moved on with life but hey, if you have not truly forgiven and stopped hating, you’re actually still stuck in that emotional space. It’s just pushed to a dark corner of your heart but it’s still there. And will always be there until you stop hating and let it go through the act of forgiving.
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Thanks dear….for our late-night conversations. They don’t come by often coz we are both so busy trekking water furiously to stay above the surface which zaps up our energy and time. So whatever time we get to connect is really appreciated. Truly and deeply precious.
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So folks, think about it for awhile. Of the strength of our subconscious mind and what it’s capable of. Very easily, in fact, too easily…it can take control of how we live Life. We must stay mentally and emotionally strong to BE in charge. To not allow it to hurt not just ourselves but also our loved ones. We must, ya? We must! We must!
Time really flies. Not just flapping by but actually ZOOMING by in supersonic speed! Know what I mean?
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Doesn’t matter if you’re a student or working full time or running your own business or a house-husband/wife. 24 hours in a day is just not enough! Be it insufficient for work or for completing some assignments or for watching the dang Korean drama series. Agree?
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Someone asked us the other day how long we’ve been together. Sweetheart’s reply shocked me. “3+ years”. Damn. Where did those years fly to?!?! A few more months and it’ll be 4 years. It got me thinking. About all the things we’ve been through in the past 3+ years. The laughter, the tears, the joy, the sorrow - the mad roller coaster ride.
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It kinda serves as a wake-up call for me. To always take time to sit back and review all that we have said and done. Not to pour regretful thoughts over the past, but more like to learn from the past mistakes and to arm ourselves with additional knowledge for our self-protection, be it emotionally, physically or mentally, as we move into the future.
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Do I have any regrets in the past 3+ years? NOPE. If someone up there decides to pull a fast one on us all and turned the clock back, I would still do the same things I did before. ‘Coz if not for them, how could I have known what I know today?
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I know alot of folks disagree with me. That if given half the chance, they would redo many things in their lives. I personally never see the need for that. If I redo those things, some precious knowledge and experience I have gained from those things will be lost to me. Nope. Would not want that. Knowledge is a precious commodity. So is experience. Even the not-so-pleasant ones. No amount of money or love in this world can ever replace that.
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But that’s just me :)
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