“My friends are my family” : this seems to be a popular line with many young folks today. We read them in blogs, in magazines and we hear them in interviews. It seems most young folks today are feeling less connected with their blood members than with their friends.
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Admittedly, I’ve never been close to my family (both immediate and extended) growing up and the gap just increased over the years. I’ll honestly say that I was happiest the day I moved out of my parents’ place 8 years ago. Some pin it on generation gap but I personally think it’s a personality clash. Labelled the black sheep of the family, I was always the first to speak my mind and the first to call things out as they are. Now as we all know, that is not the way the Asian culture works. We do not question the elders (never mind that some of the ‘laws’ do not make any sense), especially if your chromosomes are made up of “XX”. That never sat well with me.
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I was stubborn and adamant to make my stand. I vowed to gain my financial independance and prove to the elders in my very conservative Chinese family that women are not necessarily the weaker sex and we do not have to select life partners like we shop for the best deal in town. Over the years, as I gained my financial independance, respect from my family members slowly but surely started grudgingly coming in.
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However, of late…I am begining to realise that there really is no replacement for blood ties. No matter how less-than-pleasant the relationship is, blood is blood. There may be many things we’d go to our closest friends but there is this unexplained bond with family that no friendship in this world can replace. I am not even talking about organ donation/compatibility. Just plain ol’ family connection.
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I actually figured out a solution to my family ‘dillema’. Spend quality time with them but before it gets stiffling (my personal term for when they start to get on my nerves by ’suggesting’ how I should live my life), I am already outta there. Cool idea, huh? Would you believe that it works??? 
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The results? We enjoy each other’s company more when we do get together. My cousin’s wedding recently was a perfect example of that. We had a ball for a few hours during the day for the ‘chuah sin neau’ event (literally translated from Hokkien to English : ‘Picking up the bride’) and then a couple more hours during the wedding banquet in the evening.
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View pictures taken during the day ceremony here and the dinner pictures here.
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I actually met some extended relatives that I’ve not seen for the past 20 years and that was pretty cool! A bunch of them got excited when they saw Sweetheart and insisted that I intro’d him to them. Some of my immediate cousins (aka the mabuk ones) tried to drink my man under the table but thankfully, he had enough practise from his own mabuk frenz. Not drinking practise but ‘tai-chi’ practise. U guys who’re reading this….you know what I am writing about 
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Yuppp, I like this approach with my family and will maintain that for a long time to come. As long as I am comfortable with when I can detach myself when the need arises, I believe I will be happier with these blood bods.
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Guess I am just selfish with my personal space and time. Friends nor family, no one’s touching that with a ten-foot pole!
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