Passion is Thy Name!

I was asked a weird question recently.
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“Eleen, which God do you believe in?”
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Huh??? Is there more than one God? How many do we need anyways? Do we get more prayers answered if we pray to more than one God?
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Me, I like to keep it simple. God is in my heart. Which means He is with me no matter where I go. Therefore, I do not go anywhere to pray to Him. Or to be at peace with Him. So, no churches, temples or mosques work for me. Wherever I am, whenever it is, when I need to pray or speak to Him, I just open up my heart and clear my mind.
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Perhaps I have seen too many hypocrites in this world we live in. They claim to be God-loving folks, never fail to head over to the church, temple or mosque daily/weekly … yet, they are the worst back-stabbing, gossipy, selfish, arrogant folks with their mighty holier-than-thou attitude.
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I don’t need all that crap.
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As a kid, I used to attend Sunday school at the Buddhist temple next to my alma mater. Every Sunday, I learnt about the 10 precepts, the 8-fold path, the 4 noble truths and many, many others. They helped me realise one thing : That I will be a sinner for a long, long time to come! Why? ‘Cos I love to eat, to wear pretty clothes, to sleep in comfortable beds and basically indulge in life’s pleasures - which makes me a Sinner. And oh, I definitely cannot live a celibate life
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The other thing is, I was also brought up the Taoist way. My mom was a firm follower. Not believer, but follower. Mainly because she did things that she didn’t understand but did it anyways because her mom and her mom’s mom used to do it.
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That didn’t work for me as I grew older.
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Not because I do not believe in the teachings of Taoism but because I do not get satisfactory answers to my questions. Not from my relatives, or friends or any Taoist followers.
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Questions like :

• Why do we pray to the tree/table/chair/pond/etc?
• Why is there superiority amongst the deities? What makes one deity more important than the others?
• How do we know if the person who claimed to be possessed by a certain deity is genuine or not?
• How do we know for sure if that paper condo we burnt for grandpa will get to him whenever he is now? Why does he even need a condo when he is 6 feet under?!

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Of coz I have many other questions but these are the main questions I can never get satisfactory answers to. Needless to say, answers like “That’s just the way things are” and “Becos we know. Don’t question us” do not sit well with me.
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Then there are the Christians who throw statements like “If you do not believe in Jesus Christ and live the life of a Christian, you will go straight to Hell when you die!”. No issues there for me, folks. I will turn Hell into a fun place to die in then. :p
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Of coz I have questions for the Muslims too.

• What is the point of fasting when you know you have a king’s spread waiting for you at the end of the day when you ‘buka puasa’? How does that help you to understand the sufferings of those who do not know when and where their next meal is coming from?
• Why can men have 4 wives but women cannot have 4 husbands? What gives the men superiority to women? Balls? Women have balls too, just that they are higher up and are called boobs.
• And many other questions that I will refrain from listing in here or this post will go on forever.

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Don’t get me wrong. I have many close friends who are strong believers of their own faith and do all the things I don’t do. So far, I have been very lucky. None of them have tried to impose their beliefs on me nor tried to preach to me why their God is Almighty. For that, I love and respect them.
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Can’t say the same for some relatives and some not-so-close friends though. The constant nagging about why I don’t have some kind of altar at my pad, the judgemental looks they throw my way when I refused to do certain things and the gossips about my preferred lifestyle.
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Like I give a damn.
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So, yes I believe in God. He does not appear in any form and He lives in my heart. So please leave me and my God alone. Thank you very much.